Week 3: Top Ten

Time again for the top ten things we have learned in Australia this week....

1. Beets are an key component in Australian burgers. We both have bitten into a burger or two expecting them not to be there, but every time, without fail, they are. We have asked numerous times what the Aussie obsession with beets is due to, but we have not gotten an acceptable answer to date. Beets truly only belong in Mum's Beetroot Salad on Swedish Christmas on Christmas Eve.

2. The next time you go into a restaurant in the U.S., please pocket as many complimentary packets of whatever sauce you choose on our behalf. We have found that every Fish N Chips shop charges for sauce packets! Tomato sauce, vinegar, BBQ sauce - $0.25 AUD a piece. While it is not a large sum, it is just a little bit irritating to sit down for a meal and have to go wait in line again to purchase a small package of tomato sauce to have with your chips.

3. Our bookstore, BIG W. Our clothing store, BIG W. Our electronics retailer, BIG W. Our greenhouse, BIG W. Our housewares store, BIG W. BIG W, which I am assuming based on the logo typeface & store layout is an extension of the evil empire of Sam Walton, a.k.a. WAL-MART, is the only game in town. At least in Nambour.

4. Possums are mean. REALLY mean. We have known that if you venture out into our backyard post-10pm, you are in the possum's domain. There is a little creature that skurries across the back fence of our yard every evening. However, one night while Jon is at work and I was staying up till all hours of the night to phone back to the U.S., Mr. Possum decides to jump off of his post on the fence and fight. He's hissing, squeaking and squealing so much that although I was more than triple his size, I was scared. For the remainder of the night, the furthest I made it outside was to stick my head and arm outside to smoke a cigarette, while a very annoyed possum squalked from the fence. I figured that if worse came to worse, I should be able to shut the door before he got to close? I was hoping. Does anyone know how fast possums are??

5. "Loo With a View" is the best name for a public beachfront bathhouse ever. It's just that simple. Kudos to Mooloolaba, Queensland. But it doesn't smell any better than any public beachfront bathhouse. EVER.

6. WARNING ANYONE OF THE MALE PERSUASION SKIP #6. Ladies, feel my pain; let's talk tampons. Applicators are a luxury here. If you want to pay double & them some for your feminine products, then you can have applicators. But in eco-conscious Oz, they just don't exist in an economical form. On the plus side, they come in cute little 16-packs that look like mini-cigarette packs in great designs. Also, it's not like the Jersey Shore where when you are shell hunting the majority of the "wildlife" that you find are tampon applicators, six pack rings & bottle caps, so that's a plus....

7. In the U.S. you are bombarded with adverts for Direct T.V. that boast 300+ channels of viewing pleasure. Here, we have standard TV that is a whopping 5 channels and we can upgrade to Select T.V. that heralds 20 channels Australia wide. Holy shit, what WOULD we do with 15 channels that are all cricket all the time?

8. Jon and I were watching the news the other night and they were showing this segment on a family that was caught shooting cane toads out of a potato gun clear across their property and probably the next seven shires. The RSPCA was outraged at the mistreatment of these animals and proclaimed, "This incident must have happened in North Queensland because they are just a bunch of rednecks up there." Well, we laughed our asses off at that fabulous statement; you couldn't get away with saying that about Kentucky on U.S. television.

9. Queensland is whole-heartedly celebrating 100 years of the lifesaver. Major kudos to these mainly volunteer organizations that keep us safe during our summer beach holidays! However, S&J have one small comment to make: There are thousands of kilometers of beaches in Queensland and somehow the lifesavers manager to put up their red & yellow flags 10 meters apart sporadically along each beach basically corralling 1,000 of people into a very small area. I really can't enjoy my swim when while floating with the waves making my arm brush the privates of some Portuguese tourist! In all seriousness, the individuals that have guarded the beaches of Queensland are amaznig. Day after day, they put others before themselves for the greater good. Some of the guys we have seen highlighted on tele are over 60+ years old. Their selflessness should be rewarded on a daily basis.

10. Our friends outside of Oz, google blue-bottles. They are real pain in the arse. Nasty jellies that blow in with the tides that pack a real punch. Swimming has never been so hazardous to a couple of Yanks. But, aren't you jealous of where we are swimming?!?